Black Hills Part 2

So I stayed for the buffalo round-up.  I am sure you all have been on the edge of your seats wondering if it was everything I hoped it to be and more.  Or maybe you're wondering if there was going to be a love connection with me and my camping neighbor Dan, did he pull a Kevin Costner and lasso me into his arms?  Despite the fact he kind of looked like him I am sorry to disappoint you all.  Dan and I decided to take one car to the round-up since it was a long drive so I hopped in his car and took the drive over together.  As we were forewarned there was a long-ass line to get into the grounds, almost as bad as a Bonnaroo/Firefly type situation and it was still 7:00am.  Once we parked and walked over to the "viewing" area we saw a bunch of people sitting on their camping chairs.  After some time had passed we got to talking to other people around us getting the scoop of what this was all about and it seemed that everyone had a different story and for the most part it was everyone's "first time" at the round-up.  There was one man who talked pretty much everyone within ear shot's ear off about the round-up because he had been there before and was some kind of expert on the subject.  Dan and I didn't bring camping chairs so we were standing the whole time which was fine but by about 9:30am or so we were like, "When the hell is something going to happen? These buffalo haven't moved!"  Finally at around 10:15am or so after standing around waiting for about 3 hours the cowboys had the buffalo come down the hill and corral into the fenced in area.  Now keep in mind everyone these are wild buffalo. 1,300 of them!  It was a pretty incredible experience to watch the cowboys heard them all into the corral.  The purpose of this corral is to brand the calves, vaccinate them, check for pregnancy, and various other things.  I think Dan and I gathered that there was a reason why it was most people's first time at the round-up.  A cool experience but not something you would come back to year after year, unless you were a die hard cowboy.  Afterwards we walked along the corral and took photos and had a traditional  country BBQ of baked beans and pulled pork with a can of Budweiser. (Sorry Max fam, trust me the diet/exercise has been the hardest part of the this trip).  Once the corral was over Dan and I said our goodbyes and I headed into town to get some much needed wi-fi.  I needed to plan where I was heading tomorrow.  I don't know what the deal was with Dan he was super sweet but it seemed like he was holding something back, like oh by the way I have a girlfriend back in Minnesota.  Then why was he there alone?  Wasn't I holding back too? It's not like I explained myself to him in anyway.  It's hard for me to know who to tell my story to.  It's different then saying to people oh yeah I was married now I am divorced, it's a hard pill to swallow, for me, let alone total strangers, potential dates, co-workers, etc.  I hope I can get more comfortable talking about it but I don't know that I ever will.  I went out with one person since Chris died.  I told him what happened on our second date.  That relationship clearly didn't work out but he also didn't run away when I told him either.  He said it was part of who I was and anyone who didn't get that wasn't the right person.  I wish I would have enough confidence to believe those words daily.

As for my next destination, I was planning to head to Glacier NP next but after speaking with some of the lodges in the area, the closest one that is open is 45 minutes away from the park which is a 12 hour drive from here!  There is only one campground open and they warned me the park itself is a dead zone, barely any visitors.  The road to the sun (the biggest tourist attraction) is already closed due to mud slides.  I mean even here in SD the campground I am staying at tonight closes for the season tomorrow and it's 75 degrees and sunny here today, but it did drop to about 50 last night.  I don't know if I should stick to my original plan or change course?? Stay tuned.  Now I will  head over to the light ceremony at Mt. Rushmore since I didn't make it last night and I am still here and everything 😉

Song of the day "Thank God I'm a Country Boy" John Denver.  John Denver is a bad ass country boy.  And that's how I feel about these men in South Dakota, bad ass.  Dan and I tried to come up with a song about buffalo and "Home on the Range" came to mind but that song kind of sucks.  I am not a huge country music fan but I can get down with some John Denver and I felt it only appropriate after spending the day doing some of the most country, cowboy things I have ever seen.

Black Hills

Sorry for the late post haven't had any cell phone reception!

Well, my first night of camping is in the books!  Who knows when I am going to be able to post this? I didn't have service most of this afternoon and all of tonight.  I must say all in all I was COMPLETELY unprepared for my first night camping but thankfully it all worked out.  So let's start from the beginning and get you guys up to speed. 

I woke up and my first stop of the day was Mt. Rushmore.  It was very impressive.  Just as you would imagine it to be in scale and size, I took my time walking around and getting pictures of the monument from different angles.  There was a variety of different age groups there exploring the monument, mostly older couples and young families.  I was the chosen photo taker for all groups as the girl by herself who can speak English and  knows how to use a camera.  After speaking with a park ranger I mapped out the rest of my day.  I was going to go to the Crazy Horse Memorial and then Jewel Cave National Monument.  Crazy Horse Memorial is another mountain carving three times the size of Mt Rushmore that no one has ever heard of.  Why is that? It was started back in 1948 by one man Korczak Ziolkowski and they have been working on it ever since.  He had ten children just to help with his dream to finish this mountain that is still no one where near done.  They take only donations and money from visitor admissions to fund the project.  It was incredible on one level that this one man was climbing up and down a mountain by himself for years working on this massive carving but on the flip side it was pretty pathetic that some seventy years later it still isn't finished.  

From Crazy Horse I headed to Jewel Cave National Monument.  One of the largest mapped caves in the world at 189 miles long, it was fascinating to learn about how it was discovered and the hard work of the volunteers who spend their free time down there discovering the cave.  The Cave was massive and the formations unique but somewhat ugly in appearance.  It was giving the name Jewel Cave because the brothers who discovered it where hoping to find gold.  There were some crystal formations that were quite pretty but those very few and far between.

After the tour it was about 4pm and I was on my way to Badlands National Park.  Overall, I was kind of annoyed with myself because I was back tracking 2 hours east.  I knew it was unavoidable because I did not want to stop there the night before to camp because it was too dark and too late.  As I was about 20 minutes into the drive I saw a brewery and a winery. I decided I wanted to make a quick pit spot for a beer and some food before the drive to the Badlands since I hadn't eaten since breakfast.  Sitting at the bar I got to talking to some people and they were telling me they were in town for the buffalo round-up.  When I explained to them I was planning on backtracking to the Badlands they strongly discouraged me from doing that.  They said that it was a big waste of my time to backtrack and they really weren't all that great.  Having looked at the trail options, which were minimal, and already being discouraged about having to drive all the way back there I decided to take their advice and stay at Custer State Park for the infamous buffalo round-up that they were speaking so highly of.  These people traveled from various states to see this! Colorado, Iowa, Minnesota.  I had to find out what it was all about.  So I used one of the guy's phones (still had no service) to call and get a campsite right at Custer State Park which was only about 15 mins from the brewery. My plan was to go set up camp and then head back out for dinner (the brewery didn't have any food) and then to Mt. Rushmore for the lighting ceremony at 8pm.  Boy was I wrong...Custer State Park was gigantic!!  I was instantly happy with my decision to stay because it was a gorgeous drive through the Black Hills, but it was much longer than I expected to get to my campsite.  By the time I arrived it was already dark so there was no way I was leaving again, it took over an hour to drive in.  So here I was with no food, no water, completely unprepared.  Thankfully I had a nice neighbor Dan from Minnesota who offered me a sandwich and some water when I explained my predicament.  I told him about the round-up and why I decided to stay and we decided to we wake up early and ride over there in the morning. Although in the park, in was a 40 minute drive and the camp host Al warned me that people started showing up at 4am!!

Song of the day "Four Winds" Bright Eyes.  I chose this song because first of all I love it and have for years.  It's a great jam.  It also has the line, "and I was off to old Dakota where a genocide sleeps, in the Black Hills, the Badlands, the calloused east" which is extremely fitting as I camp tucked away in Black Hills for the night.  The song is very deep and talks about people trying to bring life to what is dead.  I am in the hope of bringing myself back to life....aro wooo!!

Truckin'

Today was a long ass day of driving, 14 hours of driving!! I made it to Keystone, South Dakota and now the real trip begins.  I don't know if I am more scared to stay in this seedy motel or camp in the pure darkness, the no mans land that is South Dakota.  My first night of camping will be tomorrow, I got in too late to have to set up camp tonight after all that driving.  I will continue to post a photo and song on Instagram but I may not be able to update the blog if I have no internet/cell reception.  Today I listened to a lot of podcasts.  If anyone doesn't listen to podcasts I highly recommend them for long commutes to work or airplanes.  Some of my favorite series are of course Serial, Strangers, Lady Lovin', This American Life, the list goes on.  Going with my song of the day theme I listened to a Lady Lovin' podcast which had Adrienne Elrod, communications director for Hillary for America, on their show.  Now I am not a political person.  I honestly can't understand why it seems that the entire country doesn't want either one of these candidates and yet we are pretty much forced to choose between the lesser of two evils.  On Lady Lovin' Lo Bosworth, who for those of you don't know was best friends with Lauren "LC" Conrad from the reality show The Hills and various spins-offs, and her two friends Jilly and Greta talk about empowering woman, relationships, sex, careers, and anything else going on in the lives of woman in their early thirties.  After listening to an hour of this podcast I was like, "Okay! I have made my final decision. Hillary it is.  She is experienced.  She has plans. She is a strong leader and a strong woman."  Now obviously this was a one-sided podcast where everyone was very much in favor of Hillary and brought up none of her negatives and there are plenty.  The bottom line is at the beginning of the election I thought for sure I was voting for Trump but as time goes on and he continues to make himself look worse and worse, I just don't know anymore.  It really isn't like me to discuss politics but I arrive in Keystone to visit Mt. Rushmore it seemed like an appropriate topic.

Song of the day "Good to Be Alive Today" Michael Franti and Spearhead

The reason for this song is talk about happiness from a global perceptive.  Last night sitting on a rooftop bar having a drink with Rob's sister Amy and her friend and co-worker Loren discussing how
doomed we felt as Americans between these two nominees.  We reflected back to four years ago and  how pissed off everyone was that Obama was going to stay in office for another four years.  Look at us now?  We have a country divided over these two individuals, that is anyone really satisfied with or just settling for?  Loren was explaining to us that the new president elected in the Philippines, where she is from, just started a war on drugs.  The plan he has implemented involved shooting dead all drug lords, drug dealers, and drug addicts. So far 1,900 people have died since he took office in June.  These are just political examples?!  There is also illness, poverty, a million problems that will never be solved.  My point is that you can seek your own personal happiness but in the current state of the world we live in, it is impossible to achieve ultimate happiness, would it mean that "love had won, the world was saved, and everyone could say its good to be alive today".  When I arrive in San Diego I am going to find an organization I am passionate about to volunteer at.  Volunteering was always a part of the curriculum in pharmacy school and I always enjoyed it.  In our day to day lives time is always a factor but I will definitely have the time, and I know it will be fulfilling and bring happiness. Aro wooooo!!!!!

Chicago

Wow! What a day I have had!! As I sit on the red line on my back to my hostel and reflect back on all I was able to take in today, it truly is incredible.  I figured I owed myself a ride on the red line since it sits right outside my bedroom window and I heard it running all night long.  I woke up fairly early and headed downstairs for the free breakfast provided by the hostel.  I laughed because it was pretty pathetic, not that I expected much.  They had bagels, croissants, a variety of cheeses, and cereal.  Then there was a comical sign that said if you have a gluten intolerance we have cheese.  If you have a dairy intolerance we have fruit.  Needlessness to say I took an apple and headed to the Sears tower, now called the Willis tower.  In general I was amazed how beautiful Chicago's buildings were.  The river running through the city, reflecting off the large sky scrapers a turquoise green, I felt like I was in the Emerald City or something.  It seemed very futuristic.  I wish I could say I planned out this day perfectly but I just seemed to stumble upon all the biggest tourist attractions.  After Sears tower I walked over to Millennium Park which is where the famous "bean" is.  I then decided instead of going to the art institute because it was so beautiful out to take the architectural boat tour.  From there I headed to Navy Pier which to be honest I didn't see what all the hype is about.  It reminded me of a lesser version of Baltimore's Inner Harbor but they had a Ferris wheel.  Of course I had to try Chicago deep dish pizza being a Jersey girl through and through.  Can't really compare the two.  I couldn't even finish two pieces and all I had all day was that apple that's how filling it is, I still feel full.  I think I will always pick a NY style pizza made right over Chicago pizza, but I definitely enjoyed it.  Got a chance to check out Wrigley field, Cubs were still up when I decided head back.  Long day of driving tomorrow.  I need rest after all the walking I did today.

Song of the day "Bridgeless" Umphrey's McGee

Umphrey's McGee, although originally from South Bend, Indiana, is considered from "Chicago" so I figured a day spent in the Windy City should be dedicated to them.  They were one of Chris's favorite bands.  We last saw them live in Baltimore right around his birthday in 2014.  The reason he liked
them so much was that unlike other "jam bands" Umphrey's has a lot of progressive rock and heavy metal influences, two genres Chris also really liked.  The reason I picked this particular song is because of its significance in my life right before Chris died.  I don't have any experience with it, but there is an application called garage band on Mac computers where you can do all kinds of music editing and looping.  Chris spent hours and hours, while I was slaving away at Target pharmacy, recreating this song "Bridgeless" by playing the instruments and looping the sounds together.  It was incredible!  He constantly amazed me with his ability to learn just about anything and excel at it.  Honestly, take some time to listen to the song and imagine...aro wooooo!!

The Adventure Begins!

Well, here I am 5 and 1/2 years later and I don't even know who the person was writing that last blog entry. She is gone. Lost. The happiness that once filled my heart, that I thought would never end, now feels like an unattainable high I will never again achieve.  I had it all...everything I had been working for, for so long. I finished my pharmacy degree.  Chris and I had gotten married and had the most amazing wedding and honeymoon.  We both had wonderful jobs, were living in a luxury apartment in Towson. We wanted for nothing.  This is the part where you say all right you lucky bitch what's your point?  In the matter of 10 horrific days in December 2014 my life changed forever.  I have not yet decided if and when I am going to share what I have written about the details of those events on this blog but I am certain of one thing, I want my journey to start off with a positive, uplifting tone, so that story is for another day.  I am currently enjoying a gorgeous night in Chicago on a rooftop bar after a 12 hour drive from Jersey.  My cousin Steve got married last night to a beautiful person inside and out and I 
had the most amazing time celebrating him and Jessica with my family.  First wedding I ever attended soberly.  Knowing full well the drive I had ahead of me I did not want to start my trip hungover.  So I woke up nice and early and hit the road and honestly it went by super quick.  I had no issues.  I did however wish my car had a bigger gas tank! I had to get gas three separate times with my little tank, that seems a bit excessive.  The hostel that i am staying at is very nice and in a prime location.  It is pretty pricey for a hostel and reminds quite a bit of my freshman year dorm, Osol hall, I have a separate bedroom but there is a shared kitchen, bathroom, and "common area".  I haven't met any of my "roommates" yet...

So some of you may be wondering, why am I doing this? Why would I leave a job where I make 6 figures a year? People have asked me if I am mentally stable?  Am I thinking of taking my life? The answer to that is no, absolutely not!  I am trying to regain it!  I have lost my happiness and I am in search of it.  But that raises a bigger question, what is the key to ultimate happiness? Was my ultimate happiness wrapped up in someone else? Without that person I am nothing, well that's pretty sad.  Don't get me wrong I loved Chris dearly but did I love myself first and foremost? Does anyone put themselves first? It's hard to do.  Could I find ultimate happiness in my career?  I worked so hard to become a pharmacist I think I could be happy as a career woman.  So where is the dream job to bring me happiness?  Since Chris's passing I have been unable to regain that happiness I once had, despite my best efforts, so I am going to seek it.  I have gotten stronger these past two years both physically and mentally to prepare myself for this trip, which emotionally I never would have survived intially.  My hope is that somewhere in my journey I find happiness for myself in life, love, and career.  More so than that I hope to find out what makes other people happy.  I want to see if other people I come across along the way know the secret to happiness or are just as confused as I seem to be.  

Song of the day: "Never Ending Summer" Pepper

Everyday I am going to chose a song to go along with my photo and blog to express how I am feeling that day.  It may incorporate where I am in my journey or coordinate more with my mood.  I will add it to my Spotify playlist Ashley's Adventure.  The reason for this is simple, music says a lot without saying much.  I lost my musical soulmate.  I always loved music but Chris showed me a love and appreciation for music that is hard to replicate.  Since his passing I haven't gone to has many concerts, listened to as many records, heard as many new artists, the list goes on.  I am going to attempt to bring his love of music into this blog.  I will chose new songs, old songs, corny songs, but mostly songs that mean something to me.  I chose this song for a couple different reasons.  I started the summer off going to Firefly for the 3rd year in a row and Pepper was there, who I haven't seen perform since high school.  They have a new album Ohana and this song Never Ending Summer is on it.  My trip is my never ending summer, no work in site...Pepper are Hawaii natives, if anyone knows the meaning of a never ending summer it's these three.  So despite the fact the next two weeks I will be hiking in the snow in Yellowstone and Glacier; the never ending summer, my road to Hanna, awaits me.  Also, the  song discusses new beginnings and getting through a troubled past with a new love.  It's hopeful.  "Here's to new days and new starts." And that's what this is all about.  So there you have it guys, "Aro wooooooo!!" (That's my wolf howl haha)