First weekend SD in the books! Filled with new friends and old friends! I got a chance to check out the yoga studio by my guest house. Two weeks of unlimited yoga for $25, I thought that was a pretty good price. Then I found out the other yoga studio has two weeks of free yoga, haha...guess I will go there next. The San Diego Beer Fest is a week long event that kicks off with over fifty breweries all day Saturday on the pier in the harbor. I really had never been down by the pier before and it was another gorgeous day of course. I had met this guy Randy who worked at one of the breweries, AleSmith and we met down at the beer fest. The highlight was the hydroflask give-away! After the beer fest I met up with one of my sorority sisters LeighAnn from USP. As annoying as social media can be it is also very helpful and now twice helped me connect to KE woman! Turns out LeighAnn is moving out here very soon which makes me very happy because I am already starting to feel like I could see myself here.
On Sunday after spending my morning with the pandas at the San Diego Zoo 🐼, I met LeighAnn for brunch and then we went apartment hunting for LeighAnn. We then met up with another Kappa Epsilon girl and USP alumni, Jade who is a pharmacist at UCSD. I had never met her before because she was a couple years younger than me but I felt like I had known her for years. I am hoping that she is the key to my job in SD. She has a wonderful job as a transplant pharmacist at the hospital and if she could do anything to help me that would be amazing.
Song of the Day
"Paper Planes" M.I.A. This song was rocking at the Beer fest. There were a lot of cool local bands there and some good dancing.
"Burn" Ellie Goulding. Love my girl Ellie. Probably my favorite performer from Firefly Music Festival this past year. Today was girl's day with my KE girls and we're gonna "Let it burn!"
"Like a River Runs" Bleachers. I love this song. Over the past year and half or so it has helped me through some of the darkest days. I saw Bleachers perform at the summer stage in Asbury last year with Chris's dad, Manolo, they were amazing. The past week has been tough. Between talking to Andy in Vegas about Chris, trying to explain what happened, seeing LeighAnn for the first time in years, and meeting new friends and explaining my story. As much I can try to move forward and be positive, its never going to stop being a part of who I am. My cousin Erin's friend from college who is now my friend recently walked for her husband Rob in the same American Foundation of Suicide Prevention Community Walk down in Baltimore that I have done for two years in Manasquan, this is what she wrote and I couldn't agree more.
"How do you describe what it is like to lose someone to suicide...my friends I hope you will never know. I hope you never know the pain, the anger, the sadness, the fear, and the guilt you feel. It is a constant pull on your soul, a scar forever, no matter how many seasons pass. You never forget, you never "get over it"you work through it. Sometimes it just hits you...stops you in your in tracks...a song comes on and you smile at the memory and then you start to cry at the empty feeling that follows after it in the pit of your stomach."
Suicide survivors truly never stop surviving their loss. We are the ones left behind. The ones left to pick up the pieces. I will never forget Chris and the love he brought into my life. Sadly, I will never forget the day he died and pain I felt. I was broken and had to rebuild myself, I still am. I have learned one thing. I don't like to tell new people I meet how Chris died because I want to protect him. I don't want anyone to pass judgement on him. Also, anyone who knew Chris, can understand that this is not the impression I want people to have of him, because it's not the person he was. Not only
do I not want his last act to define me I don't want it to define him because he was so much more than
his final days. In my opinion it shouldn't matter how someone died, does it make any difference, but it's always the follow-up question people ask....
AROOO WOOOO!!!!!
Instagram: lone_she_wolf
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/user/cteijelo/playlist/1uNEjK1mra1y0s3gAkTEZ4
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